Nag Nag Nag 😜

I don't see anything wrong with sharing our happiness. 

We share news & pics of new things we bought or holidaying or cooking or getting awards & even good results & food! 

There's nothing wrong with sharing happiness...is there? 

Yes, of coz we must always remember that they are those who don't & can't afford some of the happiness that we share. 

Well, I believe...intention is the main focus here. 

What is the intention of the sharing.

And...perception.

What is the perception when looking at any particular post online. 

And anyone & everyone who uses the social media...shld know the function of it. 

Most people...most....tend to post & share 'happiness' rather than anything else. 

But in real life...we know that life is not all beautiful. 

Whatever I share online are things which I choose to share. 

I wouldn't say I share everything but I share both happiness & difficulties in my life. 

And I can't deny that I too tend to share more of my happiness just like the others. 

When I see posts of 'happiness' which are usually achievements, holidays, food etc...I enjoyed the beautiful pics a lot of coz. 😜

When I see posts abt achievements, I will go 'Wow!'. I will see that as a motivational pull...that makes me go "Hey...maybe I can do that too?" 

But I don't push myself too hard. 

I do things at my pace...a pace that I can manage & am comfortable with. 

I'd rather go slow & be happy...than to push myself & feel stressed and depressed.

Same goes for my kids. I don't push them much. (Will share more in another blog post)

And we don't go holidays much.

We don't go flying much. 

One reason is Aqil of coz, who hates flights. 

Another is of coz...monetary ones. 

When one becomes a parent...especially with a special needs child...one has no choice but to always keep in check. 😉

But hey, I love looking at holidays pics of others. 

In fact, I appreciate them doing so.

I am able to see those places through their eyes...through their lenses. 

If no one shared...I won't be able to know the existence of such places. 

So this is how it looks like inside a plane.

So this is how it looks like above the clouds.

Wow...this place exist? 

Wow...there's such a place? 

When I see posts of food? 

I go crazy! 😂

Posts of homecooked food makes me wanna try making them.

Posts of places to eat makes me wanna go & try them. 

So pls...don't stop sharing! 👌🏼

But it is sometimes nice to read up posts on coping with life...coping with challenges...coping with failures too. 

Because it is not always that we are happy. 

There are moments when we are down too. 

And sometimes...we need to let go of these down feelings instead of keep them all in. 

And sometimes...we need to know that there are others who are going through the same difficulties or challenges that we are going through. And if they can do it...so can you.

Some have this thinking that such sharings is similar to washing your dirty linen in public. 

Well, I beg to differ. 

A disclaimer though...one needs to be careful of the language & contents of such sharings. 

However...we must know that everyone has different life stories. 

Some have more ups than downs.

Some have more downs than ups. 

But our life stories is ours. 

Whether you want to share your life story or not...its up to you.

Whether you want to read up on others' life stories or not...its up to you. 

For everything happens...بإذن الله ❤️

 

18 Nov 2016 - Double Happiness ❤️💜

Today is double happiness for us. First of all, today is our firstborn's birthday. 

And today, Aqil received his first award. 

Only 2 pax per pupil was allowed otherwise we'd hv attended the event as a family! 😜

It was an eye-opener for us. 

 

 

A prize-giving ceremony which is different from the usual. 

The whole thing was sub-divided into several small, cosy ceremonies. 

So...the one that we attended was held at a Music Room. 

Along with Aqil, there were 5 other pupils....with their parent(s) & teachers. 

Refreshments were provided. 

Individually packed & given to guests aka parent(s). 

Every teacher was next to their own pupil.

Including Aqil's teachers. 

The teachers helped to ensure that the kids were calm. 

Every pupil was holding on to the visual prompter so that they knew what was going on & what was gonna take place next. 

 

As per all prize-giving ceremonies, there was an emcee. 

There were performances too...by the pupils there. 

However, the performances were pre-recorded. 

Nevertheless, we watched the video clips of performances as though they were LIVE & everyone clapped after each performance. 

So sweet isn't it? 😍

As usual, we were not allowed to record anything....only own pics were allowed. 

Respect that. 😘

It was only abt 10mins after we were seated that the ceremony began. 

Aqil was already getting a bit restless & said "Are we starting already?" 

So were the other pupils. 

And throughout the ceremony, each & everyone of them started stimming...their own way. 

It was a beautiful sight! 😍

And while at a 'normal' prize-giving ceremony whereby the awardees goes up the stage independently...every awardee at Eden was accompanied by their parent(s). 

Each awardee was given an envelope consisting of a cert & cheque. 

One threw the envelope to the floor.

One didn't wanna take the envelope.

One started to bite the envelope.

And everyone just laughed it off. 😂

Parent(s) took their time to snap pics with their child & no one was rushed. 

 

 

 

 

The ceremony for the 6 awardees took half an hour. 😉

After the prize-giving ceremony, we were brought to the canteen where there were 2 photo booths. 

Many interesting props were made available. 

Parent(s) were allowed to take as many pics as we wanted with our children. 

And the pics were printed on-the-spot for us. 😎

 

 

 

 

We felt so at home. 

Everything was so cosy for the pupils & also parents. 

The teachers welcomed parents at the lobby.

Brought parents to the venue. 

Stayed by pupils' side throughout...reminding pupils of the visual prompter now & then. 

Brought parents & pupils to photo booths.

Walked us back to the lobby before parting. 

From the moment we stepped into the sch to the moment we stepped out of the sch.

Kudos to the teachers of Eden. 😍

A time well-spent with our lil king at his school.

Then we headed back to celebrate our firstborn's birthday. 

Thank you الله....for everything! ❤️

Faith بإذن الله 💜

How do you cope? 

How do you do it? 

Basically, it is more abt coping with Aqil. 

Abt having a child with ASD. 

While managing work, study & home. 

It is abt mindset.

It is abt will.

It is abt faith.

First of all, I hv to lower my expectations. 

In many, many things. 

Aqil makes me think what is it that I expect from my children, of my life.

There is work.

There is study.

And there are my growing up children. 

I look back.

Look back at my parents. 

My inspiration. 

Abah was the sole breadwinner & Mak was a housewife...with us 7 growing up girls then. 

How did they manage? 

They didn't put expectations on us, their children. 

They didn't help us with our studies or homework then cause they didn't hv high education.

Abah finished sch at Primary 6 & Mak finished sch only at Primary 3.

But Abah made sure we always had our books with us somehow during the allocated study time daily. And Mak could only help with our spelling...and that too only in our lower primary years. 

We self-studied & dependend on each other...me & my siblings. 

And I do just that with my children. 

Not that I am academically inadequate but rather so that I can do other chores in the house. 

Ariq & Arisya will usually do their homeworks by themselves. Ariq will help Arisya wherever he can. And both of them will ask me if they hv any problems. 

And we accept whatever their achievements with open heart. As long as they move on to the nxt level...we are happy. 

Ariq & Arisya are not high achievers...and we as parents, are proud of their achievements thus far coz whatever they achieved is based on their own hard work. No home-based nor external tutoring nor any enrichment classes. 

They may take a longer route in the education journey but we are ok with that. As long as they continue the journey all the way to the end...we will always be there, encouranging them (and nag too sometimes) along the way. 

If I place too much focus on their studies, I won't be able to prepare daily meals for them. 

And that is one thing I definitely remember & appreciate of my Mak...we always had home meals, we didn't eat out then. Eating out was a luxury. 

Sacrifices.

There definitely are sacrifices to be made. 

Having a child with ASD requires more time, more effort, more spending. 

Yes, more spending. 

From the time we referred him until now...the costs has not stop. 

But we made sure Aqil gets whatever Ariq & Arisya got. We started sending him from nursery & also madrasah. 

Being in SPED sch & madrasah, his fees are much more than mainstream. 

His sch fees is 35x that of Ariq & Arisya and his madrasah fees is 4x that of Ariq & Arisya. 

And meltdowns are definitely synonym with autism. To manage these meltdowns requires lots & lots of patience. 

It will be a lie if we say that we had never snapped before. 

The big decision we had to make came when Aqil started having meltdowns taking the bus to & from sch. A few complains came from the bus driver & the break point came when Aqil actually threw his shoes at the bus driver. 

And so the husband made the sacrifice & started sending & fetching Aqil. 

Of coz we feel it. Feel the loss of income. 

And so another big decision came when we had to downgrade. While others are mostly upgrading, we downgraded frm our EA to a 4-room. 

But positively, we are now proud owners of our fully-owned house, not mortgaged. 

And the monthly bills...there is a distinct difference for sure! 😉

That's when faith comes in. We believe rizq is frm الله definitely. 

Recently, a fellow autismmum who is also a working mum, asked me if my workplace know of my child's condition & make exceptions for me.

No. 

And I don't expect to receive any exceptions. 

There is this thing abt egalitarianism.

Personally, all my children are the same & equal. Hence, as shared, Aqil gets what Ariq & Arisya got. 

And having a special needs child doesn't give me the right to put it as a burden to someone else or even to my workplace. 

Hence the sacrifice made by the husband. 

If you are to ask, why the husband...why not me when I am the mother. 

We considered ALL factors. 

And my husband is not a house husband. 

My husband do freelance work & he too brings home income. 

Just that...the income is now unstable & with no bonuses. 

While on my part, as a full-time worker & main breadwinner of the family...I have to keep my work safe. 

I treasure all the privileges & benefits I've got & always think twice abt taking leave. 

How abt work pressure? 

I don't give myself pressures. 

I don't push myself.

Coz I need to survive.

How abt study pressure? 

I don't give myself pressures.

I don't push myself.

Most finished their degree programmes in 3 or 4 years.

This is my 4th year studying & still need a few more years before completing.

Coz I need to survive.

And I have my husband to thank for making the monetary sacrifice & always being there in my place whenever the children are concerned & sharing the house chores with me (did I share that the husband do the laundry - washing, folding, ironing? 😘). 

Always have faith.

Thank you الله....for everything happens...بإذن الله 💜