Post-partum.
Post-natal.
It is scary.
Read the news abt the young mother who jumped with her baby.
I had it.
I experienced it.
But without realising it.
That's a blessing.
Not ignorant can be good...somewhat.
It was my first child birth.
I was excited of course.
Wanting to do the things that mothers will do.
I tried to do them myself.
Furthermore, it was Ramadhan.
While others were fasting then, I was privileged coz mothers in confinement are not required to fast.
So...didn't wanna really tax them.
And I was then trying my best to follow the 'rules & regulations' of confinement.
No jalan-jalan.
I had the massage & got myself all wrapped up for whole day.
I was feeling so so so hot.
Anyway...I didn't know I was having deperession then.
Luckily, I was...we were at my parents' for the confinement period.
It happened two weeks after I gave birth.
Apparently, I had a fit while feeding Ariq.
And I was in a sub-conscious state for about a week before I realised I was in hospital.
Stayed at TTSH for about a week.
Where I was behaving as though I'd lost my mind...it seemed.
Well, that's what I heard.
Coz I don't remember most of it.
Being subconscious, I do remember bits of the stay there.
But the good ones only...thank you الله.
I remembered my younger sister, who was doing her nursing practicum then, bathing me....with her friend.
How embarassing!
But it happened.
I couldn't say no...nor move my limbs then.
So they just pushed my to the bathroom in a wheelchair.
And bathed me....in the wheelchair.
Another bit that I remembered was someone tying up my hair for me.
Didn't & don't know who.
جزاك اللهُ خيرًا ❤️
Just when I started to become aware of my surroundings...I was moved to KKH.
I was supposed to be transferred to IMH but my family refused.
That part...I remembered everything.
Everyone was doing everything for me.
Everyone was obliging to anything I said.
Haha! Felt like I owned the world!
Actually...they knew what happened to me.
Before I finally realised it myself.
After I met the psychologist at KKH.
So they did what they did...to prevent me from slipping into depression yet again.
Thank you الله for these people in my life.
So I decided that it is not gonna happen again when I got pregnant with Arisya & Aqil.
And my family ensured that too.
Thank you الله ❤️
Oh...by the way...there's one more thing I remembered...
My family placed Ariq's photo next to my hospital bed...and told me that I had to get well quickly coz Ariq had been waiting for me at home...
